“I wish I could just relax and shut my mind off.”
“I keep hearing about this mindfulness thing, but don’t know how to do it? I just can’t sit still and stop thinking.”
Luckily, mindfulness practice doesn’t have to be so intimidating. In fact, one of the most common misconceptions about being mindful is that it requires “blanking the mind”.
It is natural for our minds to wander—especially when we’re not engaged in stimulating activity. It’s helpful to consider taking on mindfulness practice as you would a physical exercise regimen.
Just as you wouldn’t expect yourself to get up from the couch and run a marathon without any practice, quieting your mind requires progressive and steady attention. Now, the question arises, what does it mean to be mindful?
Engaging in mindfulness requires three simple actions:
Slowing down
Paying attention with compassionate curiosity
Repeat
It could involve sitting still and meditating for 20-30 minutes. Or, you could practice mindfulness while washing the dishes or eating lunch. Practicing yoga or taking a walk can also be done mindfully. A common place to start, however, is with paying attention to your breathing.
Observing your breath is a common starting point for learning to be mindful for many reasons. Breath awareness is accessible any place or any time since we’re always breathing. Each breath is different and unique by nature which allows for curious observation. Paying attention to our breath can often evoke relaxation without much effort. So, let’s get started.
5 Steps for Developing a Mindfulness Practice Using your Breath:
Find a relatively distraction-free environment. Consider factors such as noise level, temperature, and privacy when choosing a space.
Find a comfortable seated position in a chair or on the floor in an attentive, yet relaxed posture. Imagine a rope connecting the top of your head to the ceiling above pulling you gently upright. Have your hands resting gently in your lap and your feet flat on the floor. You may find it helpful to close your eyes to limit distractions.
Begin to notice that you’re breathing. Can you begin to notice the start and ending of each breath? The space between each breath? Without changing anything about the rate or length of each breath, notice the flow of the breath through your body. Can you notice the rise and fall of your chest and/or belly with each breath?
You may find your mind starts to wander away from the breath. Notice gently that it’s wandered and guide your attention back to the breath. You may even label the wandering as “wandering” or “just thinking” to help let go and redirect your attention. Remember this wandering is just a habit of our mind—observe this and redirect your attention with compassion and avoiding self-judgment or criticism.
Start with 3 minutes a day and extend the time as you feel comfortable—try it 2 or 3 times a day or for 5, 10, 15, and, eventually 20 minutes per sitting.
In the beginning stages of creating this habit, keep in mind that it’s common to have frustrating experiences or feel “it’s not working”. In reality, if you’re making the time to be still and pay attention to your breath, it’s working.
Again, perhaps walking for 15 minutes daily may seem a long way from running 26.2 miles, but with intentional and progressive practice, you’ll get there. Keeping a journal to note your observations of your body, mind, and emotional state before and after each practice might help you identify small effects that might go unnoticed week to week. For instance, you might note that your muscles seem more relaxed after practice or that you were able to redirect your focus back to the breath repeatedly for 15 minutes despite feeling very distracted.
With this practice, you’re off to a good start! Stay tuned for more tips and exercises to move you towards living a mindful life.
By Smitha Bhat, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist at Centered Mind Counseling Services, PLLC
Dr. Bhat offers drop-in mindfulness workshops one Saturday a month in Issaquah, Washington. Visit our website or Contact Us at (425) 269-3277 to learn more!
